A State of War...

... now exists between me and our kitchen!

The self imposed deadline for completion was March 25. This was because the wallpaper for the bathroom was due on Monday the 28th. That Friday was when the kitchen would be fully cleaned and the mess would be gone. Instead... a week later, the mess has grown to monstrous proportions. Sorry Kim! Can someone say, "obstacle coffee making"? I knew you could.

Delays; unexpected plumbing projects; three trips to Lowes, two for screws; etc. and the days just seem to fly off the calendar in spite of working long hours every, single day. There is also, of course, costs overruns (Sorry Kim!).

Yesterday, on my daily screw run, I stopped at Lowes service desk to ask about our late arriving wallpaper. It is late because it is back ordered. It will be weeks before we see it.

And today there will be yet another unplanned delay as I drive to Martinsburg to pick up the flooring that is a month EARLY.

How is it that we humans consistently are so optimistic in our plans and expectations?

I can remember fully believing in the deadline. Truly. Yet looking back now, it seems as if that belief was a special category of insanity.

Does this insanity have a name?

I hate leaving the task of naming it to y'all, but I have screws calling me from the kitchen.

Love someone well today!

Bobby

The Last Enemy

If death is not all powerful as it appears (no one gets out alive), then the true reality of living cannot be based on physical being.

If you discount the spiritual entirely, then eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.

What strange beings we are, to be able to wrestle with these questions!

People think it odd that my goal is to live to one hundred and twenty and still be strong and healthy (like Moses).

I have not made up this goal, it comes from spiritual knowledge.

This is what I think I have found.

I gain food and warmth and joy, but only as fruits, not because I pursue them.

Life is all about sacrifice for others. This must be balanced by wisdom. The needs outside oneself are too great, the nature of others is to take advantage of you regardless of harm caused, these two make it absolutely necessary that you 'spend' yourself wisely. But, these cannot become an excuse for not spending yourself. Finding that balance requires a daily dose of wisdom.

What is death? What is life?

Please do not think I know. I tend to present my opinions as facts. But that is not my intent. My intent is to raise the issues by telling my thoughts. What I believe. What I see and how.

From my perspective: selfishness; being self-centered; greed; lust, etc. all stem from underlying fear and denial. As they say in A.A., hurt people hurt people.

Meanwhile, every day brings new challenges, some filled with life and energy, some filled with the opposite.

God help us all. God bless those who help. We can be His hands, we should be His hands.

Love someone well today!

Bobby

Nixon?

President Obama SO reminded me of Nixon last night during his speech to the nation about our actions in and towards Libya.

This opinion of mine is purely emotional. I was only twelve years old when Nixon was sworn in. He also addressed the nation about involving U.S. forces in foreign lands for the good of the oppressed people there.

Having watched last night's speech, I went to bed. All night long I had NPR on as I slept. I imagine that my brain was processing my feelings. When I woke up that is what my brain said to me, "Nixon". I have no idea what it means.

I am just old enough to have been too young for Woodstock. People my age walked as younger siblings to all that dynamic social upheaval and change. We listened to their music, for example. Janis; Jimmy;; Carlos, etc. and the Rolling Stones. Above everyone, the Beatles. We were not even teenagers when the Beatles broke up.

And there was Nixon, and Vietnam, and Nixon's promise to end the war. The war was over just as we turned eighteen. Everyone slightly older than us had to be terrorized by the possibility of the draft. That was in itself traumatic. Worse trauma awaited those who were shipped into the jungle. Thank God there has been no draft since!

Today, issues seem so large. I wonder what impact they are having on children. As we age, we recognize that there is nothing new under the sun, that there has never been a person who did not grow up in context with major events.

Yet there will ever be in each of our hearts the impression we first had as social awareness awakened. That there was evil about in the world. That death was actually caused on purpose. That peace was rare.

I guess that is what I was channeling this morning, that time in my life. When I realized that life was not just baseball and school and making "Man on the Street" recordings with my brother. The end of innocence.

Bobby

Yowl!!!

Well over four hundred screws, tiny screws, slotted not Phillips-head...

Covered with layers petrified paint.

Removed by hand.

If you feel my pain shout "Yowl".

I said, If You Feel My Pain Shout, "Yowl."

IF YOU FEEL MY PAIN SHOUT YOWL!!!

Then sing along- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=njG7p6CSbCU

Love someone well today,

Bobby

Blessed are...

... the meek.

For they shall inherit the earth.

Thanks Dad!

People, people who kill people..., groups who kill people..., nations who kill people.

Shall NOT inherit the earth.

The individual soldiers are exempt, the Bible tells me so.

Peace.

Bobby

The writer Takes His Pen...

The artist takes the stage...

The dynamic is bizarre. Compelled to create, like a boy imitating his Father, the artist now needs an audience. Herein lies a great fear that causes torment. Craving another's validation requires some form of presenting of the work once the work is finished. But what will someone else think, say, do?

It is not as if the artist can clock out at the end of their shift and leave the job behind both physically and mentally. The WORK is part of them.

But in another sense, the WORK is seen by the artist objectively, as if totally alien and outside themselves. The artist likes the work the same as if someone else had produced it. It certainly explains the feeling during the process of creation called inspiration. Spirit breathed from outside, the work begs to be created.

But, until a certain moment, the artist is the only one that has seen it; heard it; felt it; smelt it; tasted it.

What will someone else think of it? What will their reaction be to it?

It hurts that there might be rejection, or worse. A generic "that's nice" can tear deep wounds that leave scars.

So the risk is too much, yet...

The artist knows that the creation is not normal. It must mean something. The process that brought about the creation was too vivid. It prodded him to completion. Once the work was complete, the driving muse seemed satisfied, at least for now.

So, risk not withstanding, the work must be shown to someone else.

Be gentle with these dear artistic souls.

Unless, of course they suck!

Love someone well today,

Bobby

Hot Water

Literally.

I have lost count of the wonderful ways a kettle of steaming hot water has helped me lately.

We are two generations or more removed from the development of hot water on demand. However, THAT water is not comparable.

Water is...

intriguing; necessary; wild and wonderful. During its transition from its current state (gas, liquid or solid) to a different state, its temperature does not change. Rather it is either absorbing or releasing energy (measured as BTU's or Calories).

So, this kettle of mine has a secret. It has reach saturation point (full boil) and is BURSTING with energy.

Suddenly, so many cleaning tasks have gotten not just easier, but possible.

Try these two, for example. Use it to clean your electric griddle or any bake ware such as a cookie sheet. As you are doing the other dishes put on a kettle to boil. Once it boils pour some of the water across the surface of the griddle. Then lightly and quickly apply a light layer of soap with your sponge. Allow to cool for short bit. Do a quick wipe, any gunky oil residue will come off easily. Rinse with a little kettle water then fully rinse with cold tap water.

And don't get me started on paint brushes.

PS- Kim found a ad link on my last post. She is also having trouble with the time it takes for my blog to load. Is anyone else? We timed the last download at over two minutes.

Bobby

Dream Game

I now have a hunting game for the Wii.

There is a movie of deer in WV. You can only shoot deer with antlers. The bucks are fast and change direction often. It is only by superior intelligence that you can target them and bring them down.

In my dream I had a real riffle. Twice I failed to bring down a buck. Curiously, the scene replayed twice until I 'got it right'. Dropped the buck with one shot.

Emotionally, in my dream, I had to face my willingness to now dress the deer. I was happy to find I could do what I needed to.

I believe this dream was partly encouraged by the Wii game. I also believe that it was encouraged by my environment! I see deer out the window, for example. Or I hear them run off when I am on the ranch.

How much does your environment affect you?

I am SO GLAD to be here. My soul is filled with wonder.

Love someone well today,

Bobby

Did you miss me?

Yesterday I did not blog. No one complained.

Is it bad? Should I shut up?

I have been told that those with email notification get the entire post to read in the email.

This lessens the tally of  visitors to my site. Also, no one see the wonderful Adsense link, therefore they cannot click. Therefore I will never get my forty dollars.

I also have not received any comments since then.

I miss you all!!! Yes, I am whining.

Bobby

This be me?

Once upon a time...

I had Google AdSense on my first full blog. I managed to earn over three dollars. This money is still sitting there as you cannot get paid until you reach forty dollars.

Back then you needed to copy code into the HTML template, now there are widgets and widgets let you just click on a image placed within a visual diagram of your template. Stop yawning!

Google being analytical to the core, the ads automatically 'read' your blog site and choose ads that target your audience. It is marketing research at the speed of electricity.

Having clicked the widget to install an ad in hopes of finally getting to forty dollars, it was with great anticipation that I loaded my blog site to see what Google choose based on Baby Beetle Butts.

And the winner is...

Quantum Jumping! Wherein you learn to deliberately visit yourself in alternate universes to gain skills and such that you do not presently possess.

Strange.

Do I hear laughter?

After all, this phenomenon might help explain how I am in WV, no?

I am picking at reading some of the free information. So far I have not had to angrily look away from it because a some heretical belief that Jesus Christ was a magician.

I will let you know more when I get back, k?

LOVE someone well today,

Bobby

Smack Down

The Political Science/ Sociology maniac that lives in my head is laughing. Please forgive the cruel aspect of this. The world is providing proof that the human race is not in control. While we are the very image of God (creative and loving, for two examples)- we do not have His power nor authority.

So...

Earthquake, tsunami,  unrest in the Arab countries, etc., etc., the list is endless and growing of all the things far outside mankind's control.

These things all have one thing in common, our inability to predict the future EVER. It is the one lust that never gives a taste of pleasure before the consequences steam roller us. Not being able to see the future, major events are always a surprise. Not being able to see the future, it is impossible to have the absolute correct opinion about policy or law moving forward.

Normally, those who make a living expressing opinions (yes, I am jealous) are absurdly predictable. What has me laughing is the LACK of predictability on so many NEW BIG ISSUES. There are issues on the table that are so huge and new that they fit into no pigeon hole. Suddenly the opinion writers have to think for themselves. The result is silence, so far.

If you are an aspie, you are laughing too. If not, then probably not. However, you should at least find it interesting that the world/ nature is winning. Of course, it always is. Today it just happens to be more obvious.

No, it is not a sign of the end times!!!

Onward and Upward.

Bobby

Birds

I remember a nature documentary from when I was a child.

The entire show was about one nest from creation to abandonment.

What is vivid in my mind's eye, all these decades later, was the mother chasing its fully mature chick out of the nest to force it to fly. The chick did NOT want to leave. The mother pecked it and treated it cruelly, seemingly.

Thing was, to allow the chick to miss spreading its wings and flying on its own had to happen at just the right time. If the chick was allowed to keep its warm, filling comfortable nest, it could not learn to fly later. This meant that the chick would one day plummet to the ground unable to function as a bird.

Even the mother's life depended on this timing. The mother had given all she could and needed R&R. The mother had to move on from its responsibility to live a 'normal' life again.

God supplies. God renews. God rebuilds. God restores. His plan is always the way of love, life and beauty.

Onward and Upward!

Love someone well today!

Bobby

Power!

The pen is mightier than the sword.

Woke up this mornin', and I wrote down this ...

 blog?

Actually...

I am determined to have the entire first floor "ready" by April 15th. It is going to be a near thing. There is no particular consequence of going over schedule. However, I (being me) feel as if ...

Yeah, that's another thing. I am an aspie, always have been. It is not just the latest obsession, a beetle-butt brained, hypochondriac fad. It is true.

So be it. Knowing has helped tremendously. That's part of why I am sure about it. Too many proofs from the past to list. Especially the distant past.

So...

Woke up this morning. God bless us one and all.

Thought that the dead line was for getting to go outside and play. This place, both WV and Kim's ranch are SOOOO much fun out there.

But, there is another issue. Here is the dialog between me and me as I awoke. It was vivid enough to get me up early today.

"How will you be remembered?" sez me.

"Um, for cleaning under floors and behind walls???", me sez.

"HA HAHAHA!", sez me.

"You need to write"

"But... butt..."

"No, you need to write!"

So be it.

But not until after April 15.


Love someone well today,

Bobby

Testing, taptaptap, testing...

Let me know if you get the e-mail/ Oh yeah, please?

WOW!!!

Hmm...

Just read these old posts.

Really, really good stuff. Just Saying.