The Need to Lie

Have you been there? Reality is about to smack you. The desire is so strong to change reality to a more friendly modality. Add a pinch of fear and the truth becomes something one must deny.

This is common.

Less common is creating reality. Perhaps you have seen someone do this- asking for money because they need transportation to a rehab. Later when I called the rehab, I was informed that I was scammed.

That happened to me long ago. Since then I have become a sober alcoholic. Part of that major change in pathway included living with and among many times many people with addictions to various types of drugs.

Story after story played out before my eyes. My mind was passionately engaged because of the miracle that had happened to me. The miracle was despite knowing that I was going to die extremely drunk, in an instant I became wrong about that fate.

Anyway, I would love to tell you all the heartwarming stories that I have witnessed in the community of recovering addicts. There have been some, almost all involve alcoholics or alcoholics who were cross addicted.

Meanwhile, there was another type of human I encountered. One that I did not know existed and possibly you will never see as I see them.

They actually ALWAYS lie. I believe this is to keep in practice. They tell stories about being in distress nearly continuously. They are looking for "help". The reality is that they want help to get something that they will not tell you about.

Another trait of these particular people is anger, or at least what appears to be anger. These emotional outbursts come in the form of personal attacks on anyone who dares to bring truth. I am pretty sure these episodes are not real, but are also practiced. This serves two purposes. It discourages truth being around them by creating uncomfortable feelings and fear. There is also the chance that in ranting alternate truth in the middle of their attacks, someone or everyone might actually believe the lies.

In the situations I was in, living with people with this syndrome, it was incredible to see the  beginning, middle and end of the stories. At first, I was so convinced by the liars that I argued for them with others. Finding out I was definitely wrong was staggering. Finding out I was wrong made me develop a much better bullshit detector.

Later, once I was back in less unbalanced environs, my detector still worked. Now I get to see how I once was, naive.

I also have a greater respect for truth itself. If everyone gave truth their best effort, we could not even scratch the surface of its wonder and beauty. That, of course, is not the world's way and it breaks my heart all the time.

Back to the first statement. We all are faced with realities that make us want to lie. It is normal for these white lies to occur. So normal that it is a common theme in stories. The theme normally start with someone dedicating themselves to ALWAYS TELLING THE TRUTH. Of course, situations develop that are bad. They are caused by telling the truth and get worse. Until, the dedicated one finally gives in and lies. Yay!!!

Um, there is a flaw in this theme.

You do not ALWAYS need to tell the truth. The simple alternative is to not TELL anything at all.

You could not possibly imagine the grief I receive for this position.

Try telling anyone that there is no NEED to answer a question just because one is asked.

Seriously, try it.

In fact, try to do it yourself, I dare ya!

I will warn you, it can be fun. You might want to do it again.

But, best of all, recognize that it gives you the ability to never lie again.


LOVE SOMEONE WELL TODAY,

Bobby